The tour in Ubud was quite the shitshow.  totally hilarious on a number of levels due to the elderly man and his penchant for saying things to incite our driver who did not speak english very well, but knew enough that he should be getting pissed.  well at least it was funny from the backseat with the two finnish girls.  we saw rice paddies, kintamani, coffee plantations, a major water temple where a huge ceremony was taking place, the mother temple which was absolutely beautiful, and then we stopped at a cockfight on the way home.  and the weather was perfect.  such a fab day.  then the girls and i went out for drinks and super cheap, best meal that ive had in bali.  super simple tofu curry with potatoes, carrots, and ginger that i had to wait an hour for, but totally worth it.

oh right, the cockfight.  it was the kind with chickens, not the fun kind you see at a gay bar.  as it turns out, tis the season for cockfighting in bali and all the men of the local areas bring their cocks out, tie blades to their legs, pull feathers out of their faces to make them angry, and then pit them against one another while betting.  needless to say, this was deeply, deeply disturbing, and the girls and i left right after the first blood was drawn. 

another disturbing part of the experience was that i was among the only white or female faces in the bunch, and this kept drawing stares from the circle of about 200 dark men around me.  i started to think about what it must be like to live as a racial minority, and i did not like the now personal conclusions that i came to.

side question: why is it that here in bali many strangers come up to me and ask to take their picture with me?  is it because i am a tall white woman with curly hair?  it cant be because im american because most times people dont even ask where im from.  is it because- unbeknownst to me- there is some international scavenger hunt and somehow i fit the bill for one of the items?!  if so, i want in!!  i think i should start charging money for pictures...

anywho, the balinese people are an interesting bunch.  they seem to only smile when looking at another person, and if not they appear to be intensely miserable.  its quite drastic to witness.  they also have perfected the ability to make and use leisure time by constructing raised structures on every corner and at every home for people who suddenly feel the need for a nap or simply get too hot.  as a person, i totally admire this, but as an american, i dont understand the siesta mentality.  they also wear thick sweatshirts when riding motorbikes.  wtf??  how is that possible??  its hot as balls out here and im sweating just from typing at 8pm.  the balinese are also extremely proud to be balinese.  like intensely.  they talk about it all the time and often engage me in welcome conversations about their religious ceremonies, people, families, lives, etc.  this being said, why do i constantly witness people throwing their trash in the streets and rivers and peeing all over the sidewalk?  why do they allow dogs to run around with mange so terrible they cant even open their eyes?  why is there garbage everywhere?  why?

i realize that much of the trash situation has to do with the lack of education, people doing what has been done by their parents, and the necessity of using ephemeral methods to honor their gods and statues twice a day.  still though...  at least there is a huge effort to recycle plastic bottles and glass.  it seems to be rather recent but is making huge progress with at least part of the trash.

well, i am currently in sanur and feeling mucho better, but i think this town is a little too commercial (read: expensive) for me, and tomorrow i might either stay another night or head to nusa dua via motorbike for a couple of days so that i can see the sights on the bukit peninsula and whatnot.  then hopefully ill head up the west cost to tanah lot if i have time. 

just 8 more days left in this trip and im rather excited to go home.  i feel that restless american urge to achieve/accomplish/further my career/start my life/train for the LifeCycle again.  i have so much to do and its all i can do to keep my brain from spinning when i think about it.  when i am not though, i find myself conversely at almost a complete standstill.  i simply sit for minutes and stare at nothing, not moving, just thinking about whatever.  its rather pleasant, mostly.  i mean its pleasant until i hear my mother's voice in my head saying something like "what are you doing?!  go out and see some shit!  youre in bali for gosh sakes!"  i love you mom, but im ignoring your voice haha.  i like not doing anything here.  i think thats really what bali is for: following your passion and right now mine is turning the brain off.

well its been 2 hours playing on the internet.  i think ill go have a beer to calm the caffeine shakes and maybe swim in my hotel pool.  maybe ill even shower!  i already did my laundry with shampoo in the sink yesterday when i was sick because i pleasantly had nothing else better to do, and nothing better to wash my clothes with.  incidentally, im going to have to go through all the clothes i brought on this trip and either rewash them or just throw them away.  yeesh.