ahhh thanksgiving.  twas indeed a day of thanks.  i stayed in bed til 2 watching reruns of Angel and then drove 45 minutes to my aunt's house, only to get lost because my dad's dyslexia reared its ugly head and left me stranded in front of macy's at the lakewood mall.  awesome.

after getting it all sorted out, we proceeded to sit at the kids' table (which is suddenly now the "cool table") and drink the many bottles of nice wine that i brought before breaking into the cheap shit and getting wacky and playing dirty board games with our parents (because apparently thats what you "get" to do when youre old enough to drink and all of your family members are out of college.

the last few days have been somewhat normal.  i actually cleaned my bedroom and unpacked the last few boxes (i moved back in 8 months ago...), and in the process located a lizard and accidentally chopped off part of its tail (mom- "omg!!  will its tail grow back?!").  so there's that.

then i hit up a local brewery with a friend and had a perfectly fabulous afternoon talking while drinking craft beers.  i came home to my mother having a pinched nerve and in an obviously large amount of pain, so i shoved a prescription-strength painkiller and some wine down her throat and handed her a hardboiled egg.

ill check on her in about 20 minutes.  i think itll be fine. 

tomorrow is my first day at "TR".  TR is an interesting place and i have no idea how it is going to work out, but its a paid internship and i am thanking my myriad of lucky stars that i have this opportunity.  im supposed to fill out paperwork and take over this woman's entire caseload, but we'll see what happens.  either way, im so unbelieveably fucking stoked to be using my brain again (hello brain!  i missed you!  how have you been holding up under the massive quantities of wine and no sleep?).  im excited to be doing what i am good at again, and i am doubly excited to be making a difference in the world.

a good friend told me the other day that i should start writing here again.  her confidence in me was inspiring and ive determined what with getting hired at a couple of big girl jobs and giving up my bartending gig, i need to find an outlet where i can be an ass, a crazyperson, and tell dirty sex stories about myself and others (natch).

SO.

im batting .000 for clients showing up to our sessions at my new place of employment, so no need to break out the ipad camera to remember this moment, mom.

also, when you are 26 and your parents try to take photos of you on the first day of your new job, its probably time to move out.  i am repeatedly buffeted by these kinds of instances, and thus repeatedly reminded that im an adut with sexual urges who needs her own space and needs to feel like an adult.  as it stands, my only adult activities involve dancing in my underwear when my parents are at the gym (together, yeesh) in the morning and i have a few minutes to snuggle with my dog and drink coffee in the sun... sans pants.  

being without pants is my homage to my evasive young adulthood.  i have spent much of my time as such living at home and amassing a large fortune, or what laypeople like to call "student debt". 

enough of that.

i am currently sitting in my bed that is without sheets because of unfortunate dog-related incident today.  my friend quipped recently that these kinds of things can spiral quickly, and i certainly discovered that to be true.  my blind dog wiped his prolapsed asshole on my bedsheets, and i attempted to grab and toss a sweatshirt out of the line of fire, but knocked over a half-filled coffee mug.  onto my bed.  classic taryn.  so i ripped off my sheets and now you find me here: in my uncommonly messy bedroom with most of my clothes on the floor and an empty wine case as a makeshift trashcan.  

ok... so im not the neatest of people.  or the most organized.  or the most creative when it comes to interior decor.  i dont care.  im an unfortunately typical graduate student whose food pyramid consists mainly of booze, dysphoria, sparkling water, pasta, highlighter, horrifyingly large amounts of awful television, and whatever is being served at her school or job of late.  what a glamorous life we lead.

moving right along at a clip known only to people experiencing mania and hopeless cases of ADHD, today at work, someone asked me "what i was doing before this?"  i deftly and totally not awkwardly replied, "...uhhh... watching a marathon of Flipping Out with my mom..."  he responded with "um no.  i meant where did you work before coming on here?"  awesome.  ive met this guy all of twice and here i go spilling the beans on the fact that im an idiot who watches too much bad tv and lives at home.  and here i thought i could support the illusion for slightly longer than that...

 

say, this was fun!  i feel slightly lighter than i did 20 minutes ago.  so here goes: i will write here more often.  i intend to write about things that happen in my life in an uncomfortably unadulterated manner.  dont read if i make you uncomfortable, and i dont apologize if i do.